so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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