Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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