Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just pee around me
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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