Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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