so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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