I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
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things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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