So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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