why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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