maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize