she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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