Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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