is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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