i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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