Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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