So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
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