Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
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Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
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my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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