im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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