I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
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Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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