she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize