Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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