I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize