I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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