Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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