proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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