I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize