so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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