Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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