In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I didn't notice because vodka
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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