thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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