The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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