We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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