Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
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He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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