Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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