Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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