I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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