He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
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21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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