Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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