I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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