if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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