he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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