I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
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We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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