Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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