I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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