Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
A+ Viking dick
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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