and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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