The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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