my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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