Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
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I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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