Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
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The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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