I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Randomize