While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40s are totally the cure
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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